The Butt Towel
The bacon wallet will solve all your financial problems. All your money is going to your favorite processed pork products anyway, so why not just wrap your cash in bacon. The Bacon Wallet shows the world that you're not afraid of the other white meat. Vegetarians will stare at you in disgust as you pull out this monument to crispy deliciousness with every purchase. Just stare right back at them and give the wallet a good lick, just make sure you have washed your pants recently. On the inside, the Bacon Wallet is a perfectly normal wallet, but the outside proudly displays your favorite breakfast dish.
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